Raising Responsible Drinkers: The Family’s Role in Alcohol Consumption
Family life has a determining influence in shaping our habits and choices, including how we view alcohol consumption. Growing up in a family where alcohol is frequently seen to be ‘used’ could unwittingly influence how drinking patterns are seen, either positively or negatively. Having parents who drink responsibly can model accepted ways of drinking, but on the flip side, witnessing frequent heavy drinking or alcoholism can lead children to adopt similar habits.
As I see it, families are complex in their relationality. When alcohol has a regular involvement, it can weave its way into these dynamics in various ways, often creating emotional damage and eschewing boundaries. Parents’ attitudes toward drinking usually become the blueprint for how kids view alcohol. For instance, in families where alcohol is part of regular social activities, children might view this as normal and acceptable behaviour.
Where the use of alcohol can become normalised and seen as an end-of-the-day relaxant by the adults in the family, children may come to internalise this behaviour—soon, learning to understand that the meaning made of alcohol was that it was used to cope with the stresses of life. In the 2023 Drinkaware study titled “The Sober Myth: Are Young Adults Really a Generation of Non-Drinkers” findings revealed that while alcohol consumption among young adults (ages 18 to 24) is decreasing, this age group is still more likely to engage in binge drinking. They also experience greater memory impairment following nights of heavy drinking and often turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism. Additionally, young adults living in deprived areas may be more susceptible to alcohol dependence compared to their peers from less deprived backgrounds. Various factors contribute to these trends, including peer pressure and the normalisation of alcohol use within their social environments, such as among family, friends, and peers.
The family’s role in influencing alcohol use is multifaceted. It profoundly impacts individual well-being and the broader social fabric, as family members are integral to society. Family bonding is a crucial characteristic of family life; spending time together—through play and socialising — helps maintain close connections. However, when playtime and alcohol consumption occur together in social settings, children and young people may go on to associate alcohol with fun and family cohesion. It’s important to note that I do not wish to condemn alcohol use at social gatherings; many people drink responsibly. However, even occasional overindulgence can send mixed messages to younger family members about alcohol consumption.
Family Occasions
Family gatherings often feature alcohol in different ways. Some occasions involve celebratory drinking, while others include social drinking that fosters bonding and relaxation.
Celebratory Drinking
Remember that Christmas when Gran brought out her special brandy? These memories can evoke the idea that having a drink to celebrate events like Christmas, birthdays, weddings, and holidays makes them all the more memorable and enjoyable. We often make a special toast with champagne or wine, which has become the institution of celebratory drinks.
In the UK, alcohol consumption is closely linked to celebrations and social events. Drinking habits vary significantly by age. Older adults, mainly those aged 65-74, consume an average of 21.4 units per week for men and 10 for women. In contrast, younger adults aged 18-24 are increasingly opting for low-alcohol or non-alcoholic beverages, with 21% of this age group reporting they do not drink at all, up from 14% in 2017. Despite this trend, when they do drink, they are more likely to engage in binge drinking.
Overall, 48% of adults aged 16+ reported drinking alcohol at least once a week in 2022, with men (55%) drinking more frequently than women (42%). This reflects a complex relationship with alcohol across generations, as younger people become more health-conscious while older adults maintain their drinking habits.
Setting limits. The euphoria of drinking during a social event or a celebration can influence how we are carried along with the fun of it all, so it is good to set limits if you feel you might be likely to drink too much during such times. Or have a soft drink between alcoholic drinks to allow you to maintain self-control.
Social Drinking
Our fundamental needs determine our existence; being social is probably one of our most important. Our families and our friendships reinforce the importance of our existence. So, being social and using alcohol when doing so have gone together forever. Having a drink at an event such as the theatre, a sports event, or after work provides the social situation with light-hearted energy and a sense of fun. Social drinking then has been regarded as usual.
Social drinking, for some, can also be a good reason to binge drink. Perhaps seen as harmless because this drink is limited to the weekend. However, binge drinking can be problematic for the body, which, on average, can only process one unit of alcohol per hour. This impacts our judgment of risky situations, causes us to lose control of ourselves, and impacts our mood. More seriously, there is a risk of seizures, breathing problems and brain damage (Drink Aware, 2024)
Family Problems Caused by Alcohol
Alcohol can have the potential to cause problems within families, leading to strained relationships and emotional turmoil. These issues often stem from excessive drinking, leading to arguments and sometimes violence.
Marital Issues and Alcohol
Heavy drinking, binge drinking, or alcohol dependence in one or both partners is consequential to the relationship. As has already been said, the mind can misunderstand the slightest little quip and turn it into something overblown, distorting communication within a relationship and becoming a sad and desperate state of affairs. For some living in an alcohol-fuelled relationship, they may have grown up being witness to a similar dynamic.
Binge drinking and alcohol abuse make people unpredictable and irritable, as habitual alcohol drinking warps thinking, making it hard to maintain stability in a relationship. Communication often breaks down, and trust is lost, which may lead to broken relationships.
Financial troubles may also arise as individuals who suffer from an alcohol problem can become unreliable in meeting financial commitments or have difficulty keeping their jobs due to hangovers, the depressive nature of alcohol, and perhaps drinking at work. An additional strain on relationships creates a cycle of stress, blame, and the potential for being stigmatised as the family finds it more challenging to participate in social life. The emotional and economic toll creates an environment where mending the relationship is tough, and each person becomes overwhelmed by their anxiety and struggle to change.
In the end, the way alcoholism adversely affects relationships within the family has a diminishing impact on the family’s ability to thrive. Some families can have a member who abuses alcohol, and it is well hidden. But over time, the cracks do appear, and the family starts to witness the continual vicious cycle of alcoholic disaster; then come the promises to stop because of that almighty row. Success remains for a while, and then, without thought, the alcoholic drinking resumes, and sadly, the family is returned to the anxiety of living with an alcoholic.
The Abuse of Alcohol Can Run in Families
Just as the demonstration of healthy eating and keeping fit can run through a family, when alcohol is used regularly in the family in various ways, such as for socialising, celebrating, or reducing stress, there is a likelihood that children and young people can become influenced by this. There is also an argument that alcohol abuse can be hereditary: “Research shows that genes are responsible for about half of the risk for alcohol use disorder (AUD). Therefore, genes alone do not determine whether someone will develop AUD. Environmental factors as well as gene and environment interactions account for the remainder of the risk.” – National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.
Genetic Factors
Genetics have been shown to influence alcohol use and misuse in families. Research shows that genetics account for about 50% of a person’s risk of developing an alcohol use disorder. Children living with a parent who has an alcohol problem are at a higher risk of developing similar issues.
Disorders like Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) can occur if a child is exposed to alcohol in the womb. Puberty and adolescent brain development can also make young people more prone to impulsive behaviour, including drinking. Some adolescents may be more likely to misuse alcohol due to exposure to traits like impulsivity and risk-taking.
Environmental Factors
Families communicate what is acceptable and what is not.
Parental drinking habits model this behaviour for their children, especially in their formative years. Adolescents who see parents or siblings misusing alcohol might think it’s normal and engage in underage drinking. There are longitudinal studies that support that there can be associations between an adult’s excessive drinking of alcohol and early use in children/ young adults. However, there can be a variety of other factors that can provide a stimulus toward using alcohol, such as peer influence. Environmental factors, such as family conflicts or neglect, can also contribute to alcohol misuse/abuse. For some, alcohol might seem like an escape from stress and problems at home but instead leaves you feeling isolated. Gender differences and the adolescent development phase can also affect how young people react to these influences.
So, family plays a significant role in whether a person is likely to misuse alcohol. Both genetic and environmental factors are key players in this dynamic.
Support and Recovery
The support of the family is pivotal in alcohol recovery support, but they cannot do it alone. There are various avenues of support offering different means of support.
Family Therapy
Family therapy can provide support for the family together. So much gets devastated in the family when there is a member of the family struggling with alcoholism. Trust and peace of mind are the most impacted, perhaps contributing to a breakdown in communication because of the endless disappointment and broken promises. The difficulties are seemingly enduring and leave all involved feeling hopeless.
So much of what has happened needs to be discussed and understood with a supportive family therapist who can help guide the family toward reconciliation — helping them bridge the losses toward hope, re-engaging their communication, and assisting the family in building on personal and family boundary setting.
Individual Therapy
Seeing a therapist can help you to begin understanding your alcohol problem and consider your decision about whether you want to learn to manage your drinking and get re-educated or move toward abstinence. Maybe you have something going on in your life that is reinforcing the perpetuation of your alcohol problem, leaving you with the feeling of being stuck in two issues, so to speak. Seeing a therapist could help you to get some perspective.
Mutual Support
Mutual Support groups like Al-anon are good resources for family members. They provide a sense of community and understanding that you might not find elsewhere. For those struggling with alcohol, AA can help with support and understanding regarding your alcohol problem.
People who attend these meetings find hearing the experiences of others who’ve been through similar situations can make all the difference. It’s like having a team of people rooting for you.
Practical Tips for Families
Practical tips can make everyday life easier and less stressful. Parental monitoring and supervision can ensure that drinking habits don’t spiral out of control. Keep track of your loved one’s progress and celebrate small wins.
Regular family meetings can be an excellent way to discuss progress or address concerns. Carers should also take time for themselves—self-care is essential.
Always encourage open and curious communication. Ask questions and be genuinely interested in the well-being of all family members, especially those learning to live differently without alcohol. This will help you better understand their problems and show your unwavering support.
Turning points in recovery often come from strong family support. Each small gesture can be a step towards recovery, making the family a solid foundation for change.
The Family’s Role in Alcohol Consumption Conclusion
How a family interacts influences alcohol use significantly. When families foster open communication, the potential for excessive drinking may become less likely.
In contrast, families struggling with alcohol might find themselves in emotional and financial turmoil. Families impacted by alcoholism face ongoing challenges, dealing with stress, anxiety, and sometimes vulnerability to mental health problems such as depression.
Family roles and dynamics shift when alcohol abuse is present. Children may have extra responsibilities, and spouses might need to manage household issues alone.
Support is crucial for all involved, not just the person with the alcohol problem. If you’re dealing with this, seek help. Look for support groups like AA and AL-anon, counselling, and resources to assist you and your family.
I wish you well going forward.
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